He was about 6’2 feet tall. He had a characteristic afro, one that stood out from the crowd, like it had a life of its own. His rugged face was chiseled rather than molded. It wasn’t round. It was rough in a masculine way, as if its maker didn’t want to smoothen the edges. His chocolate complexion teamed up with his perfectly-fitting dark suit and produced a magical Romeo. The streets went silent. Even the birds stopped their chirping, to acknowledge this creation, as he rolled across the street, like a lion checking out his jungle. From the shop that I was attending, I could look without him noticing the stare and as I continued appreciating Gods creation, forgot to breathe-until I realized I was choking and my colleague was getting concerned.
“You have a customer.” She interrupted.
“Does he live here? I have never seen him.”
It doesn’t matter, just talk to him.”
That’s ridiculous! How do I even start?”
“How do you normally start?”
We were not in the same world. At least then, we were not. She shoved me away from the counter to serve the customer who was getting caught in my love web.
I saw him again. I pictured him walking the same street but towards me and striking a conversation. He had a disarming smile that let me lower my guards and spoke perfect English. He loved reading and quoted a few books here and there in our conversation. I giggled severally, keen not to be over excited. He said he loved kids (perfect) and could write interesting poems. We even went through The Song of Lawino by Okot P’ Bitek and had a good laugh about it.
“So, mind if we catch up later?”
“No, I don’t.” I answered back, hoping I didn’t sound all too desperate.
“May I?” He said handing me his business card.
“Sure what?!” my colleague once again interrupted and I officially declared myself smitten.
I knew I had become a victim of a strange but normal disease called crush. Much as I self diagnosed myself correctly, I didn’t trust my guts. My woman instincts raised the red flag but I shoved them all the way to the trash bin. I was going to look for this guy and I would take my chances.
Two weeks later, reality knocked my door and I shamefacedly opened. I had nearly crashed in the crush, and my bandwagon of a heart was still wobbly.Let’s just say my all perfect Mr.Romeo was not all so perfect. Did I tell you his English was horrible and couldn’t spell my name after several reminders? Ok, I made up the last part but, point is, he was just the opposite of the cute little pictures that I had painted in my head. He was very human.
Two years later, I had another crush (I am told its normal). He had a perfect singing voice and I dreamt of him singing for me again and again (I’m crazy, I know). After the bruises from the previous one, I was keen to know how to approach this one and come out unscathed. Boy, did I pray for it to end. I was over cautious. I walked miles away from him because I feared crashing my sorry heart. I hid and kept repeating to myself that he was human and not some demigod, until reality sunk. It wasn’t the best approach, but it worked.
So many minicrushes later and I am still alive. Over time you learn to smell the feeling from a far and avert the hurricane. I have talked to someone I really crushed on and realized how human they are. They probably don’t keep time or talk too much. That makes the all good feeling go away before you bang your head on a rock.
So this week, I have been trying to find out how different people dealt with their crushes, whether in their childhood or now.
My girlfriend told me that she became friends with Google search. She could search “How to know he REALLY likes you”, “How to attract him” How a guy behaves when he is into you”. So many sleepless nights trying to find out the same thing. We all did that, didn’t we?
I asked a certain guy friend who is more serious with life and – worked my courage for a whole hour just to ask- and he told me he had never had 1. He is not normal or so I thought. Turns out he needed to define what a crush is and after along and exhaustive argument, he told me he had had a crush, not once but severally. “The key thing is not the crush itself but how you deal with it” is what he offered me.
I have learnt one thing though; that having a crush is perfectly normal. The issue is how you come out of those few months when you feel you heart just wants to elope. It defines emotional maturity in dealing with delicate matters of the heart. And prayer works! I really prayed those days and in a way I have never understood, God took care of it. Plus, it’s good to tell a friend so he/she can help you think when your thinking cap is off.